I Would Like To Thank
by Electronis Zappa
Summary: Cordelia wins the Emmy for lead actress in a comedy. I own neither Buffy, Veronica Mars, nor The Ellen DeGeneres show.


Author's note: This is something I wrote ages ago after watching the Emmys. It borrows from the Angel episode 'Birthday' where Cordy has her own sitcom. Fair warning, Harmony uses a brief slur, but she's quickly chastised for it.

* * *

"And the award goes to….Cordelia Chase" The announcer read. The camera quickly switches to the brunette in the crowd, hugging and kissing Willow and being congratulated by Dawn and her latest conquest before making her way to the stage.

"This is the first win and nomination for Cordelia Chase"

"Wow, I didn't really think I was going to win, going up against America, Tina, Felicity, and Mary-Louise. There's some amazing talent there . I knew Dawn would win, she always steps up and just does an awesome job. There are so many people I'd like to thank. My wonderful Willow, my world, my everything. I wouldn't be here now without her. Dawn, as I said before, for always stepping up to the plate and playing the greatest little sister a character could ask for. The producers, the directors, the writers, I just act out what they tell me to say. And, Dawn's older sister Buffy, I owe her so much, I know none of this would have happened if I hadn't met her. Thank you all."

~~~The Ellen DeGeneres Show the next day ~~~  
"So, your speech was great, complimenting the others and your co-star, very good of you." Ellen stated

"I meant every word of it" Cordy said

"I would hope you did. I've got to ask, you mentioned Dawn Summers' older sister Buffy and how she's responsible for what's happened. Can you elaborate on that?"

"Sure, it actually goes back to 1997 when we were in tenth grade"

* * *

~~~1997~~~  
"Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. " Cordelia said, hiding her disappointment

"Uh, oh, well, my mom picked it out." Willow responded

"No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done?" Cordy said aloud, thinking ''Why does she do that to herself? She could be so pretty. God, tone it down, you can't let anyone think you want her. Think how far your social status would fall. Focus attention on the new girl'

"Oh!" Willow responded before she left

"You wanna fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight, they're a lot easier to avoid." Cordelia explained 'And please avoid Willow, she's MINE'

* * *

"Hey, Cordelia, isn't that the new girl talking with Rosenberg?" Harmony pointed out as she spotted the blonde and redhead sitting in the quad "They look like they're getting kinda close. Think maybe they're dykes?"

'Nooooooooooooooo' Cordy screamed internally, causing her to snap "I don't think you're allowed to use that word unless you are one. Anything you'd like to tell us Harm? There's nothing to be ashamed of, there's nothing wrong with it. So long as your girlfriend is socially acceptable that is." Cordelia lectured Harmony, leaving the blonde dumbfounded "Excuse me, I've got to go stop someone from making a huge mistake" the brunette added, crossing the quad to where the blonde and the redhead sat "Buffy, can I talk to you a minute?" Cordelia asked, grabbing the slayer and pulling her to the side, out of earshot "Do you like her?"

"What?" The slayer asked, confused.

"What's your malfunction? It's not that difficult of a question. Do you like her?"

"I…I don't know, I just met her. Why? What's it matter? YOU don't like her" Buffy asked, a bit surprised by the cheerleader's outburst

"I….I do." Cordelia quietly confesses

"Then, why did you berate her at the water fountain?" Buffy asked

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" Cordelia replied, receiving a 'Try me' glare from the Slayer "Because I'd be a pariah if anyone knew I liked her. She's so pretty, has so much potential. I somehow got it in my head if I kept up the barbs, she'd do something about it. Silly I know"

"I guess there's some sense to that, twisted as it may be. Does she even like girls?"

"I don't know. I know those two friends of hers have crushes on me, was hoping maybe she does too."

"Have you thought of maybe, telling her?" Buffy suggested

"Oh that would go over well. 'Hey, guess what Willow, I'm gay and I'm secretly in love with you and the reason I've been so mean was so people didn't think I liked you and so you'd start doing things to become more popular so I could then go after you and still be popular.' She'd really buy that."

* * *

~~~The Ellen DeGeneres Show~~~  
"And since you're together I take it that she did." Ellen stated

"Yeah, Buffy befriended her, and I started changing who I was too, and we've been together for ten years now. She brought out the best in me, believed in me, and urged me to go after what I wanted. And now, I'm an Emmy award winning actress with an insanely popular sitcom and an amazingly wonderful girlfriend."

"That's defiantly something to be proud of. It is a great show. What can you tell us about the new season?" Ellen asked

"Not much really. I can tell you that Dawn will be getting a new love interest. She was in the San Diego area a while back and came across an aspiring actress with an amazing singing voice named Meg Manning. You actually saw her, she was Dawn's date last night."

"She's definitely a looker alright" Ellen agreed

"She is indeed. The head writer only needed to see a picture of her and he got all sorts of ideas. His sister just shook her head and gave him this look, and he shrugged and said 'I'm an apeman'." Cordelia explained

"It's good that he owns up to it."

"Oh it is, it is." Cordy agreed, chuckling

"Ok, that's about all the time we have, congratulations again on the Emmy" Ellen said

"Thank you" Cordelia returned

* * *

~~~Willow & Cordy's house later that day~~~  
"Honey, I'm home" Cordelia called out as she entered

"Hey baby, great interview, I love when you tell our story" Willow answered, kissing her girlfriend

"I love telling it. As bad as it makes me look." Cordelia replied, enjoying the feel of the redhead in her arms "How was your day?"

"About as much fun as shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be" Willow answered "Luckily Buffy and Tara have great taste, Dawn and I are going to be the hottest maids-of-honor ever"

"Sweetie, you could dress like you did before Buffy came along and still qualify for that" Cordelia reassured Willow

"If only you would have come to that conclusion ten years ago" Willow teased

"I did. I just needed my priorities rearranged" Cordy admitted, kissing the redhead again "They're fine now." She added, taking Willow by the hand and heading toward their bedroom.


End file.
